Awake And Not So Ready To Party
I saw a hot lady at a grocery store, kinda trying to remember what she looked like
Black people are a small minority in Finland and every time you see one chances are they’re really well dressed
i doubt youre as alone as you think kan in fact i knoww youre not
Youre One To Talk You Seem Perfectly Happy Here Surrounded By People And Things You Like To Do Its Just
Everyone Is Happy
Whats Wrong With Me
[With her hand touching him, he obviously stiffens. But not in light of him thinking it was off to do so, but simply put, it was surprising. But… nice? He relaxed after awhile, whispering a soft thank you to Kanaya, but it was too quiet to be heard. He knew this, but he was too nervous to repeat it.]
["…So do you, though." It was the closest he was going to get to repeating the thank you he muttered. Adding to that, he smiled a little, but it went unnoticed.]
["Are they? If so, that’s great. Actually, yeah. I’m happy for them all. But, will you be okay—" As she went on, he stopped to let her finish her sentence. A long pause interrupted them, and to stop it, he allowed his curiosity to get the better of them; asking his question.]
["You’re…? Are you alright, Maryam? If you’re not feeling well, I can give you some tea leaves for you to have the experience, and… you can talk to me over blogs? I’m not throwing you out… I’m worried, is all." Embarrassed at his confession of being worried, he immediately looked away. "Sorry."]
"You worry entirely too much", she says, hoping she sounds offhand. “It’s not the tea leaves I came here for. Or the tea, though I did want to try that out too. I came because it’s been incredibly long since I did this… spending time with a person I actually want to see.”
The tea’s going to go tepid. She wants to tap her foot, to release some of the coiled-spring tension in her gut, and resists the urge with effort. A thick, fuzzy silence hangs between them, something heavy and solid and curiously sad.
So much has been broken, and so much of it beyond repair.
"I’m sorry to hear that you face problems with large groups of people too. Maybe it comforts you to know that I feel the same way, just as it does me… I’m sorry if that sounds selfish", she adds hastily, flushing a delicate green. “I don’t mean it like that, I just - company is nice sometimes, isn’t it?”
The last part is more of an outburst than anything; her voice wavers out of control, and she feels well and truly spent. She really does need to do this more often.
"Tea", she murmurs, breaking her grip on Dave’s hand as she reaches forward for the cup again.
[Taken aback at her answer, he looks over at Maryam, answering as quickly as he could. "No, no. I get you. Honestly… I think everyone is a little unsettled at how many there is." Pausing between sentences, he continues. "…I can’t get over the fact even though I grew up here, I’m not used to just how many people there is. I’ve uh. Actually had crazy anxiety, since I’ve been here. I’m just used to maybe 4 people in a room at a time, not… not a full shop of maybe 15 people at a time. Staring at you, just… thinking, what’s up with that guy?"]
[Quickly adding to his previous sentence to avoid confusion— "Earth, I mean. Uh. Not New York. For where I grew up." Laughing a bit at his own screw up, he sits back and relaxes for the first time since she’s come over. "But… honestly? Real talk, here. If your jobs leaves you without enough to pay rent in and you lose your place… you’re free to stay here? Or ask me for money or something."]
[Pausing for a bit, noticing her looking at him, he adds to his previous statement and offer. "Like.. if you want to I mean. You don’t have to, I’m just throwin’ it out there. I kind of worry about you guys? Everyone. Some of you came here without money and here I am just…" With him sighing, it’s obvious of how guilty he feels. "I feel like I don’t deserve any of this. There’s so many of you that came here as heroes, and here I am. I didn’t contribute anything other than my own life, and I don’t have to have a job."]
[Dave took a deep breath, and looked down to his feet. “I just want to help… literally any of you, because I sure as hell don’t deserve what I have right now.”]
Despite her first impulse, she takes care to set her tea down on a nearby coffee table before steeling herself. Inch by painfully clumsy inch, she shuffles closer to him; close enough to put a hand over his, a touch that she hopes is more comforting than creepy. When he stiffens at the unexpected contact, she holds fast and waits for him to relax, but is unable to look at his face.
"You deserve everything you have", she mumbles. “…All the good things, I mean. And none of the bad ones. You… you deserve to be happy.”
Don’t we all? She can’t answer that one yet either.
"There’s no need to worry about me. My jobs can be stressful sometimes, but it’s mostly because I’m still not used to dealing with so many people. I have enough money, and… well, my apartment isn’t the biggest, but I wouldn’t know what to do with a bigger one. It’s really just me in there…"
And that’s the way she should like it.
"Everyone seems to be doing fine, too", she whispers, "while I’m still roused at night by the meowing of an alley cat on the other side of the road. And I want to kill it, and I know I have no reason to. It’s… it’s not just that this place is so peaceful. That’s how it’s meant to be. But I’m…"
He’s human. He’s sympathetic, but he’s human and he has every reason to fear - or despise - her for what she wants to say next. She trails off into hurried silence and listens to her heart beat, glum and dogged, over his own gentle pulse.
I highly recommend giving up music snobbery. It makes life 1000% more fun.
One John Egbert In Pencil And Ballpoint Pen
Can You Tell Where I Started Getting Lazy
//sorry for the delay!! i haven’t really had the time to draw in the past few days ;o;
He looks upset but do not worry he’s just reading!! [sorry it wouldn’t let me submit off anon on your main hope you like it!!]
//gosh, this is adorable!! thank you so much ;3;